With introductions out of the way, it's time for the good stuff: bringing you up to speed on the current gentlemen callers in the life of Salty. Please note that I used the term "gentlemen callers" lightly, as these range from people who call me obsessively, to that guy I only text at 4am after all the bars have closed and I'm still looking to party. So,without further ado...

1) Crazy. I met this guy at 3am early this summer at some random late night bar in Old Town. I was with friends and several thousand cocktails deep when he approached me for a little chit-chat. Mid chit-chat he tells me he's bipolar. Thinking he was kidding (I mean, who just throws that out there the first time you meet them??) , I laugh it off, have another cocktail and leave without giving him my number. A couple days later I get a call from him. Turns out my friends gave him my digits (thanks, guys!) and he wants to know if ill join him for dinner. One thing you should know about me is that I looooove food. I'm a total foodie and although I don't have the funds to do so, I often use dating as a way to finance this hobby. Annnyways, long story short although he called to confirm earlier in the day, he just flat out never called that night. The next day he called to say he was sorry......he decided to go see his family in Wisconsin. WTF? I promptly tell him he's an ass, erase his number from my phone and proceed to forget about him.....

UNTIL! I get a random text last Friday saying he saw me on the street and can he take me to dinner? "Not a chance" I tell him.....but about a million texts, phone calls, etc later I find myself sitting across a plate of sushi from him sipping a leeche martini (yum!). I should also mention that I have less than stellar self control (I'm a prime candidate for peer pressure). Although I was planning on ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, having several delicious cocktails and then telling him he's an asshole and storming out, I ended up having a great time. So, now what?

2) Lawyer Lad. We have a ton of history dating all the way back to that summer we spent together in college....I always thought he was perfect until I found out that he had been dating some chick throughout most of the time we spent together. Now, newly single, he has become my new "call at 4am when I'm stranded in Wicker Park and spent all the cash I have on cocktails and the buses aren't running" guy. Although he has "changed" as he says, he's pretty much standing there waving a giant red flag in front of my face. Unfortunately for me, I must be part bull because I run directly at it, even when I know it's TROUBLE!

3) The Crush. I have the biggest crush on my good friend's brother...this has been going on for years, but it wasn't until this summer that we started hanging out. I consider this thinnnnn ice, so I'm trying to avoid making cracks. Stay tuned!

4) Birthday Boy. For someone who makes his living giving back to other and making the world a better place, this guy is truly a selfish ass. Last winter we started talking and in the midst of our "beginnings" he explains that he's still going through a drawn out break up with his ex and things are really hard for him right now...blah, blah at which point he moves out east for work. Fast forward to September when I spent a glorious weekend in NYC celebrating my quarter century with my besties....the night of my birthday he met us out for drinking, dancing and an a-bar at his place. 11am the next morning I did my first ever NYC walk of shame across Manhattan. Three weeks later I get a text saying sorry he didn't call, he's just going through a lot right now....blah blah....


Anyways, that's enough for now. There is much more to archive, but recounting these mistadventures is making me want to curl up under my desk and cry...or shake myself and ask why I on earth I ever spoke to these guys in the first place. Ugh. I never learn.

Cheers and Salt! xoxo