Is it too much to ask?

Minus the work thing, of course.....

Good dates come with a price

Sorry I’ve been MIA, just a little pre-occupied. Per Salty's post below, things have been kind of rough lately and I've had a lack of motivation to post anything. But I do have good news (sort of)…I actually went on a good date last week (seriously!!). Yes, I’m really capable of liking someone. The guy is super cute, nice, and funny and it turns out we have a lot in common. He’s even single (for once!). Just one problem…I’ve decided he is SO not into me.

I mean, I totally thought the date was going well, I wasn’t even drunk. He seemed to be having fun too. However at the end of the night I ended up paying for my half of the bill. Ok this is probably mostly my fault. The check came at the end of dinner and my immediate reaction was to nearly throw my credit card across the table at him and say we can split it. I have no idea why I did that, but it really bugs me that he didn’t protest at all…not once.

Usually on a first date I do the standard slow shuffle through my purse searching for my wallet thing until the guy says “don’t be silly” and covers it. I have to at least (pretend to) offer though to be nice. Anyway if this guy was really into me he would have at least tried to reject my offer to pay for myself, right?

Well things aren’t over yet. We probably should be hitting fizzle mode at this point, but I’ve decided to take this on as a challenge and see if there's any hope. I'm bored and of course the fact that he doesn’t like me that much makes him way more attractive (Sick, I know). The texting games have already begun…stay tuned.

XOXO, Sweet.

And now a word from our sponsor....

Sh*t has hit the fan at the workplace of Sweet and Salty coinciding quite conveniently with Salty beginning to feel flu-ish and most of the men in her life deciding to act like children. In an effort to keep their jobs, and to keep Salty from writing increasingly bitter posts (this was not a good weekend for her), events of the past weekend will be summarized:

• Salty went out on a limb and asked bus boy out....he said yes, he would call this weekend, but she didn't hear from him until 10:30pm Sunday night. All he said was sorry he had work parties both nights (and your phone broke??). He is now out of the picture.
• Lawyer Lad did not pull through on Sat night when Salty got locked out of her place at 1 am in Wicker Park. He is now also out of the picture.
  
• Crazy hasn't called which is fine, but crazy.
• My west coast texter pretty much called me out for being lame enough to give these guys a chance in the first place.
  

All in all, Salty is having a bad week and is rethinking her life, her boys, and her job security. More to come...

xoxo,
Salty

the bold and the beautiful.....

Let's begin by pretending I didn't write the last post....and move swiftly on to the events of this past week/weekend. To avoid a long narrative, I'll bullet the boy highlights:

• Turns out I'm not the only one who likes to send inappropriate texts to inappropriate people at inappropriate hours (good thing the gentlemen in question is safely located on the west coast---WHEW)

• Lawyer lad made a late night appearance on Friday and an early morning escape on Saturday ( I need to stop this).

• Friday night I spent an hour chatting it up with this guy who I later saw making out with another dude in the corner (of course)....but he did call me the next day. Go figure.

• The guy who ditched me for another girl last weekend sent apologetic texts that were ignored.

All this was Friday night. Saturday night was a little more interesting...which brings me to bus boy. Many moons ago I met this guy at a friend of a friend's house. He was cute, but taken, and that was about it.... fast forward 6 months. I move apartments and take a new bus route to work. Every single day I see the same guy on the bus. He looks familiar, but since I can't remember why, I just ignore him. A couple months after these daily sightings, I find myself sitting next to him on the ride home. In an attempt to be friendly I introduce myself and confess that I can't remember how I know him -- we went to high school together, right? Not so much. Turns out he was the cute guy from the friend of a friend's house. Whoops!

Anyways, we chat the whole way home and are getting along fabulously when my stop appears out of nowhere and I practically have to dive-roll off the bus. Needless to say there was no time to exchange numbers. I immediately call our mutual friend and tell her that I ran into him on the bus and ask whether he is still dating that one girl (I'm trying to avoid intentionally going for unavailable men). "No," she says "he's not, AND he asks about you all the time." Yay! So of course from then on I am super excited about seeing him on the bus and of course I never run into him again.....and then I move.

Accepting that this fellow is clearly not in my cards, I proceed to forget about him until our mutual friend confesses that he still asks about me (and that these inquiries are accompanied by a large bashful grin), and that he'll be at a halloween party she is coming in town for.

Faaaaaaaaast forward to Sat night. I am pumped to see this guy again for the first time since the end of the summer. When I arrive at the party, however, he is already several drinks into the evening and he may or may not have been accompanied by a "friend" who happens to be wearing the minist of mini skirts. I'm dissappointed that he is there with someone (even though I am assured that although they once dated, are are not anymore), but I decide not to let it ruin my night. My strategy is to just pretend he is not there--- even when he comes over in an attempt to talk, and especially when I find him looking my way.

Well, my strategy works, he clearly gets the hint and we don't talk for the whole evening. The next day, feeling a little bad, a little frustrated, and a little bored with all the boys in my life, I decide to just be bold and ask him out....he immediately texts back saying yes and that he'll call on Thursday or Friday. Eeek! Hopefully I'll have an update tomorrow....

xoxo Salty

It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine......

Common said it, and I must agree--- when something is good, you just know it's good. You don't have to think about it, or even think about thinking about it, it just feels right. The same goes for dating. We have all the time in the world to ponder these bad and obscure dates because they aren't substantial--they don't mean much in the scheme of things. Good dates on the other hand are different. To me, a good date goes by in a blur only leaving a feeling behind. Looking back, I find it hard to remember good dates because I am so engrossed in the moment that I'm not even aware of the details. I couldn't tell you what I was wearing, what I ate or what time I got home...

The point of this post, ( I swear this is leading somewhere!) is to address comments that we appear bitter or jaded. To be honest, I probably am, but I am also hopeful! In the midst of countless horrible dates, there have also been some wonderful ones. Just so you guy stop sipping the haterade (that's for you-know-who at work), I will tell you about the top three dates/guys of the past couple years....after I get a good night's sleep (and have another 12 hours to figure out what I'm going to write about ;). More to come!

xoxo Salty!

Dear Dude from Friday,

You might have had a chance when your friend tried to set you up with me at my pre-bar. You have goals and good taste in music. However, you did a few things that killed your game. Since you were so confused why I wouldn't let you touch my leg later that night in the cab, let me explain…

First you tried to kill my fish by dumping all of his food in the bowl…he’s still alive, but swimming on his side now. Not funny. You thought “Seagull” would be a good nickname for my friend. Have you no manners?

Finally, I knew you looked familiar for some reason! Why are you my Facebook friend already?? I never met you before…that’s super creepy. Yeah, I’m wondering why I accepted a stranger as my friend too, but this isn’t about me right now…and guess what, you have now been de-friended. So please stop posting status updates about how you want to be Mr. (me).

Hopefully I helped clear up your confusion.

XOXO,
Sweet.

A public service announcement brought to you by Salty: Do not recycle!

Cans and bottles? Fine. Guys? No way. Per my last post, I told you that I ran into some guy I used to date while walking to a bar last Thursday. He text me that night asking if we could get together the next night. I said no, I had plans but maybe Sat night. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon...I'm standing in front of my empty fridge at my new apartment trying to figure out how on earth I can make dinner without pots, pans, plates or utensils. It was at that exact moment that I decided someone should take me out to dinner and that someone should probably be that dude I re-met on Thurs. So, I text him asking if he had dinner plans.....No reply. It isn't until 10:30pm after my roommate and I went to get pizza and some friends had come over to pre-party that he calls me. Where am I? Can he come over? Meet me out? Persistent much???

Anyways, for whatever reason I tell him he can come over and accompany us to the bars. Big mistake. As soon as we get to the bar he orders me a drink and we engage in a little chit chat, but as soon as I turn my back to talk to my roommate, two girls walk over and start talking to him. Twenty minutes later they are all still talking and I'm getting annoyed. Fifteen mins later our friends decide to move the party to another bar, and so I leave without saying goodbye or telling him where I am going. At 2am I get a text asking where I went. Clearly he couldn't seal the deal with either chick....

Moral of the story: If you didn't want to date him before, you probably don't want to date him now.

Please don't recycle! xoxoxo Salty